TAINTED LOVE BY OLDE MOTHER: THE END OF CREATIVITY?

Olde Mother Tainted Love, Frederick, Md. Abv 6

Note: we’re going to leave this up one more day. (Feb 25). We think the poor beaver who worked his tail off to give us this beer deserves the extra 15 minutes of fame. Also, we kind of like the idea of posting an Abbey beer (Spencer Trappist) on Sunday in hopes of some kind of redemption.)

A brewer we know described the plan as a “crazy promotion”—Cupid’s Curse or Cupid’s Revenge Tasting, an event in which several Maryland brewers would bring something of an anti-Valentine to a Valentine’s Day event to bask in a presumably enthusiastic press response. It may have worked better than anyone expected. Brewers all over the country have been “jumping the shark” to produce a beer no one else has done. Olde Mother has jumped a shark, a pool of barracuda, and a Great White Whale with one batch of beer. Oh, and it jumped a beaver too.

Olde Mother is a brewery we’ve reviewed here before. We love the place. They were having some issues with their chiller when we visited; most of the beers were sessionable, though there were certainly more sophisticated beers to be found in Frederick. Still, the place was packed with both two- and four-legged enthusiasts savoring the joys of a true local as much as the actual beer.

We were glad to have another chance to try an Olde Mother beer at the bottle share at the Blue and Gray beer show at Dulles just a few days after Valentine’s Day. A brewer friend of ours brought a crowler and assured us it was one of the last available samples of Olde Mother’s Cupid’s Curse entry: Tainted Love. It tasted like a Raspberry Porter, perhaps with an echo of artificial flavor; I’ll never know what we would have thought of it if we hadn’t know what was actually in the brew.

One of the last crowlers of Tainted Love

We don’t know how anyone ever learned this, but the castor gland next to the anus of a beaver produces a substance that tastes remarkably like raspberry. [Digression: When we came back with Hop Pocket from St. George, one of the two negative reviews on DC Beer wrote “tastes like ass.” It was one of the few and greatest acts of restraint on my part not to enter below in the comment section, “Just exactly how do you know?”] Castoreum, the substance, has, we understand, received clearance from the Food and Drug Administration and is actually used in some raspberry yogurts.

Danged if it wasn’t good—actually the best of the beers we’ve had from Olde Mother and worth drinking even without the gimmick. The title? Well, if you don’t know, we’re not going to tell you here. You’ve got a computer—go to Urban Dictionary and learn a definition of “taint” that’s probably known by more 8^th graders than adults.

“What AM I DOING in a beer column???!

Tasting notes: Full body with roasty malts and a quick and sustained raspberry that includes something that is definitely raspberry, but not definitely fruit. The turbidity [Jeff Browning, founder of Brewport Brewing in Connecticut, said I really should use the word in this review] seemed to add to the complexity. A bit of bitter balances nicely and the dark fruit end is surprisingly moreish. We hope the beavers were raised in humane conditions.

Food pairings: It’s so hard to avoid humor here; besides, <anything> we suggest at this point is going to invite howls. So, yes, beer lovers. Cheese. Ellie suggests stinky cheeses, though I think a soft brie would do just fine. Chocolate might be a bit redundant, but we think it could match a dessert that wasn’t overly sweet. Ellie suggests venison, though we’re not likely to get a chance to test that theory. And the obvious: for only 120 bucks you can order online a beaver’s hind leg; bone in, of course. We’d suggest a slow roast for maximum tenderness. Review #0072 20170220

On Sunday: We honor the year’s biggest astronomical find– Trappist-1, a star that supports several earth-like planets that may be capable of supporting life. Our tribute will be, of course, a Trappist Beer — this one from Europe’s “New World” — the USA. Spencer’s Trappist Ale from Spencer, Mass.